Dissonance In Writing

Sorry, I know it’s been a long time since I’ve blogged, but I have such a good reason for it! Truly, I swear, it’s not just an excuse. Ready for it?

After searching my whole life, wasting however many years online, dating, getting married, getting divorced, dating again, etc., I have found him.

“The One”.

So naturally, I’ve been spending my time getting to know the guy I’ve spent my whole life waiting for.

Since I never use real names, he and I discussed what his pseudonym should be. After much discussion, I think we’ve settled on “Lovingly Sadistic Stud Daddy” (or LSSD for short). I’m not sure if it’ll stay LSSD or not, but for now, it works.

Ya’ll… he’s perfect for me. Like whoa perfect. Let’s step outside the D/s stuff for a moment (we’ll get back to it, I promise), and just talk about the vanilla stuff. Some people are perfectly suited for each other within the lifestyle and can’t stand each other outside the scene/bedroom. That’s totally not us.

He makes me laugh. I tend to take myself way too seriously, and he’s been teaching me that it’s okay to laugh, and laugh at myself sometimes. Frankly, he’s a goofball. On our second date, he and I went to a country bar in the middle of nowhere. When we walked in, it was just the two of us, the two owners, and some guy who looked like he’d been there all week. LSSD asked the bartender if we could sing karaoke, so she plugged in the machine and got it all set up for us.

What LSSD lacks in musical talent, he makes up for with moxy. He got up there and after a few warmup songs, sang “I’m Too Sexy” (dedicated to me, of course). Later on in the night, when the bar started filling up (meaning about ten more people came in), he sang “Chocolate Salty Balls” from South Park. (Linky-link to the You Tube Video (from South Park – not of LSSD))

I laughed my ass off. Here’s this guy, 6’3″ or so, maybe 250 lbs., deep bass voice, singing the lyrics, “I shake my little tush on the catwalk”, and actually shaking his ass at me! I never had more fun in my entire life as I did that night. As an added bonus, he sang “In the Ghetto” for me because he knew I loved Elvis. In return, I sang every single song he submitted for me.

LSSD is also a family man, which is so important to me. He has a strong sense of morals, he’s intelligent and educated, and he’s got those good, old-fashioned southern manners that I just adore. He opens the door for me. He orders for me in a restaurant. He calls everyone “sir” or “ma’am”. He’s huge on respect. He’s one of the good guys.

Okay, so I promised I would get to the D/s stuff. I was talking to a friend of mine tonight, and he said, “It really sounds like he knows how to handle you.” I was telling him about the first time LSSD really spanked me.

I didn’t know I was getting a spanking that night. He had me stand at the side of his bed, naked with my legs spread, while he teased me by tapping his back scratcher on my nipples, and then lower on my pussy. I was anxious, knowing that at any time a harder blow could come, and then suddenly it did, on my right inner thigh. I squealed and jumped back, then bent to rub my thigh, all the while looking up at him incredulously. Then I just burst into giggles. I couldn’t stop! I was hopping up and down, rubbing my thigh, and laughing my ass off.

He looked at me and said in his sexy southern drawl, “I know you didn’t just jump back away from me.” I couldn’t say anything except, “Oh my god that hurt! Gimme a minute! Damn!” as I continued to laugh. I’m pretty sure he joined in and laughed at me too.

I’m not sure how, but I ended up over his knee then, and he started spanking me with his hand. He’s got big hands, and lemme tell ya, he spanks hard. At first I was thinking to myself, “Okay, this is okay, I can handle this.” But pretty soon, I was squirming, squealing, gripping the bedsheets, and kicking my feet as my ass started to warm up. It seemed like every time I kicked my legs, he would focus the next volley of spanks to the backs of my upper thighs, so I tried really really hard not to kick.

But then it happened ~ he spanked me really hard repeatedly with both his hands and I kicked up both my legs, bucking over his knee almost, trying to get away. He spanked even harder and faster then, so I put my feet back down again in a hurry, and I ended up scratching his leg pretty badly. I’m thinking that’s when he pinned my legs with his other leg and started in with his back scratcher across my ass.

I couldn’t stay still for that. It hurt so bad that I was lifting my head, trying to push up off his lap. You read stories all the time about how the girl stays stoic and passive over his lap, and I’m telling ya’ll right now, it’s bullshit. I do not have that much self control to stay quiet and submissive over someone’s knee while he’s wailing on my ass.

To keep me still, LSSD growled at me and grabbed a fistful of my hair, pressing my face down into the mattress. I managed to turn my head to the side, but I still couldn’t breathe through my hair very well. I remember whining to him that he needed to stop because I couldn’t breathe, and he responded with, “Like I give a fuck if you can breathe or not.” (Side note: He really does care, but that was the scene.)

The next evening!

Finally, after what seemed like hours, he barked at me to roll over onto my back. I whined ~ there was no way I wanted my ass against the bed sheets, but he yanked me by the hair and got me into the position he wanted me in. I was panting, trying hard to recover after the assault on my ass, when I saw him pick up my hitachi magic wand.

Normally, I love my hitachi. But lately, I only love it when I am allowed to use it on myself. LSSD loves to apply the hitachi directly on my clit, and then force me to cum over and over again until I’m way past begging and almost into panic mode. When I saw the hitachi, I immediately started backing away, trying to close my legs (which earned me a few well-deserved smacks to my thighs) and pleading with him not to turn the wand on ~ to no avail.

I can’t tell you how many times I was made to cum. I don’t even try to keep track anymore. I do know that I ended up leaving a huge wet spot on my side of the bed. (First time he used the hitachi on me, I flooded his side of the bed. Since then, he makes me scoot over onto my side!)

I begged, I twisted, I arched my back, I screamed, I almost cried. I sat up once, trying to get him to stop, but I learned my lesson as that earned me a slap to the face. LSSD is evil with the hitachi. He’ll turn it off, making me think he’s stopped, only to press it in harder against my clit and start it up again on high. I vaguely remember him taunting me as I was begging him to stop.

Then finally, it was over, but he wasn’t done yet. He leaned over me and started interrogating me. I had no idea what he was asking me. I couldn’t think at all. It was like he was speaking Russian to me or something. I just kept wailing “I don’t know! I don’t fucking know!”  He kept slapping my face as he was barking questions at me, pinning my wrists when I tried to block him.

Finally, I broke. I lost it and just started bawling.

It wasn’t the pretty crying either that girls sometimes do when crying in front of their man. No, this was full-on sobbing. I had snot running down my face, a deluge of tears, and horrible, uncontrollable, pitiful wails.

He stopped immediately and scooped me up to his chest, holding me there while I cried it all out. He petted my hair, rubbed my back, told me it was all okay and that he loved me. And at that moment, I loved him more than I ever thought was possible.

I am his.